Well, I guess the answer is yes! But once you’ve worked the Steps, your perspective shift should make this good news instead of overwhelming news!
When I first entered an AlAnon meeting, one of the things I was told was to try 6 meetings before making a decision as to whether or not AlAnon was the right place for me. This took some pressure off – I didn’t have to learn it all and figure it out all at once. But (at that time) I found my worth in achievement, it meant I needed to get those 6 meetings done right away so I could get better! I went to three different meetings the first week and then visited them all again the second week (totally unnecessary!) But that’s how my mind was working back then.
I remember coming home from a meeting, after listening to so many stories of healing and hope, but feeling anxious about what I was “signing up for.” (There is no sign up in AlAnon – it’s an anonymous program!) These people had been in AlAnon forever and said they were never going to leave. I said something to my son about making a lifetime commitment and he said, “It’s one day at a time, Mom. Just focus on what you need today.”
Duh.
I mean, I had heard that same message in those meetings, but my brain was not going to hear it and make a switch like that. I had to work on my mindset and look at what I had right in front of me. I had to let go of worrying about worst case scenarios or how I was going to keep up my busy pace.
So you might be thinking, “This is too much.” And maybe that’s just a story your brain is telling you. Another story you might have heard is that you just can’t change, you are who you are. Well, if that’s how an alcoholic looks at his life, he’s never going to be able to quit drinking. (And yes, that’s a real problem for them!) Recovery programs don’t work if the recovered don’t share their success (hope!) with those who aren’t feeling so hopeful.
The Bible tells us we can recognize our sins, repent, seek forgiveness, reconcile and make amends – all restoring us to unity with God. If God believes this about you and wants this for you, isn’t it a little arrogant for you to believe you know better?
I’m not telling you all this comes easily, but doing the work WILL change your perspective and you WILL change your thoughts. I believe there is hope for anyone who really wants to change and heal. You have the choice of staying where you are and being miserable or trying to make a change and taking a chance on feeling better! Either choice is hard.
Let’s talk.
