So many of us approach the holiday season with stressful thoughts. Maybe there is someone in your family who makes things difficult for you – criticizing, drinking too much, relishing arguments, requiring specialized diets. Maybe there is some critical issue that makes gatherings difficult – grief over the recent loss of a family member, grief over adult children who won’t be visiting, substance abuse or identity issues within your family. Or maybe it’s feeling overwhelmed by all the extras – gift buying and giving, holiday parties, kids’ events, extra responsibilities at work or church. Essentially, this comes down to our thinking about our circumstances.
When your thought is “Everything needs to be perfect so I won’t hear criticism from my mother in-law,” then you are creating an impossible expectation for yourself and for your mother in-law! You can not possibly control every little aspect of a holiday gathering and you certainly can’t control what someone else is thinking or what they are going to say!
When you look at how many blocks are filled in on your calendar and think “It’s too much!” Then it IS going to be too much. You will go to various events with the thought that you just need to get through it, instead of looking for joyful opportunities. Going to a party thinking “I am leaving a 9pm” might sound like setting a boundary for yourself, but it also keeps you from living in the moment. Instead think “I will look for 5 people to compliment and will meet at least 1 new person.” You will walk into that party looking for the good stuff! And maybe you have so much fun that it feeds your soul instead of draining it – and you can still leave at 9pm if that’s how the night goes – but that’s not the focus.
Changing your thoughts is not an easy thing – it takes work and consistency and maybe some accountability! Coaching can help you with mindset, help you find evidence for the good, and hold you accountable to what you say you want to do. My Health Happy Holidays offer can help – click that link!
