Failure is about my mindset
So few of our decisions result in perfect success or complete failure. We are normally somewhere in between. Something that feels like a failure can simply be a step towards success!
Consider a friend telling you about something she has really screwed up. What are you going to say to her? You probably aren’t going to just agree with all her moaning and pile on! Your perspective is different from hers and you are going to want to comfort her in some way: You tried something new and it didn’t work the way you wanted, but you are ok and you learned something! Maybe there are some tweaks you can make or improvements so that things work the way you expected. The circumstances weren’t right – maybe a different time/place/season/audience would help! Let’s list all the good things that came out of this experience.
But when it comes to our own failures, we often speak differently to ourselves. I’m terrible at this. I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t stick to anything. I’m so disorganized. I have nothing to give/say/contribute. I didn’t have enough time/energy. If our friend voiced these thoughts, we would argue with her!
Opportunity
Failure is an opportunity. If you are feeling some fear when setting a goal, you know you are stepping into something new! And that’s where the opportunity lies.
Setting personal goals has been something that has helped me grow further than I ever would have dreamed for myself! My very first goal was to journal daily. I mean, that seems like a simple thing to do, right? But I had issues with getting excited about something and then letting it go by the wayside. Did I journal every single day for 90 days? No, I did not. But instead of getting down on myself as a failure when I missed a day, I just went back to it the next day. I think I journaled more like 70 out of the 90 days – but that was a heck of a lot more than I had been doing. And the journaling really helped me work out some things that had been spinning around in my head! So, that’s a success and not a failure. I could have let myself quit after the first missed day, but the point of the goal is not to be perfect. The point is to have something to work towards and grow. Look for the growth!
Accomplishments
There are different kinds of goals – big huge ones that seem impossible and shorter, measurable ones that move the needle. It’s good to have both and to break that big goal down into smaller measurable ones that move you in the direction you think you need to go. If you miss one of those goals or you don’t see the results you want, consider it a learning experience and not a failure. Maybe you are supposed to take a different direction or maybe God is sending you a signal to rethink your big goal! Maybe you need some help figuring all that out and coaching is for you! Sometimes you need a coach to point out all you have already accomplished. Reach out.
