When we have to spend our holidays with people or going to events that stress us out, how can we be happy? There is always so much to do!! We get overwhelmed.
Events
There may be some events coming up this season that you really don’t want to go to. Maybe it’s a work party where small talk makes you uncomfortable. Or some of your co-workers let themselves get a little too crazy. But you are expected to be a team player!
You can do nothing about someone else’s behavior. And worrying about it isn’t going to change anything. Focus on your own needs. If diet is an issue, eat something healthy before you go so that you won’t be tempted. If alcohol is an issue, make sure you have some alternative beverages. If someone else’s behavior is an issue, don’t let them cross your boundaries.
Seek out coworkers you trust and get along with when you arrive. Or seek out the newest hire who doesn’t know a lot of people! And avoid talk about work. Plan some conversation starters before you go so that you don’t have to worry about making small talk. Have you taken a vacation lately or know someone who has? Who has recently had a wedding, child, or new pet? What funny movie have you seen lately? How about a new hobby or class?
Using similar strategies for family gatherings will work, too! Consider some fun events or trips that happened over the last year. Plan to share those memories so that conversation remains positive and doesn’t turn into gossip or complaining. Avoid criticism. Is there something you can contribute that makes the host/hostess’ life easier? Some food, flowers, or a game will lighten the mood or turn the focus to some beauty or fun!
How Do You Want To Feel?
This may sound silly, but it’s an important consideration. So often, we let our reaction to what is happening around us determine how we will feel. Or we let our brain create worst case scenarios. We need to create the feeling that we want ourselves. If you want to feel a sense of peace, how can you create that for yourself? If you want to have fun at a party, how are you bringing the fun instead of relying on someone else? If you want to stick to your healthy eating plan, what do you need to think to avoid the temptations? Do this mindset work ahead of time.
If you are going to your spouse’s office Christmas party and you feel like it will be boring or uncomfortable because you don’t know anyone, then it WILL be boring and uncomfortable. If you think of it as an opportunity to meet someone new, you will be looking around the room and finding that person.
If you want to feel peaceful on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, how can you prepare for that? 1. Make a plan for meals, church, gift giving – and share the plan with whoever else you will be spending that day with. 2. For the week prior to, give yourself five minutes each day to imagine how the day will go (no negativity!) 3. Repeat to yourself at least once each day “I’m at peace.” 4. Let go of expectations! Serve the meal when you said you would. Leave for Church when you need to and let others get themselves wherever they need to be. Enjoy watching others open the gifts you gave them with no expectations of being thanked. Spend time watching the kids enjoy Christmas.
Count your blessings
Even if the kids are fighting over new toys, even if you husband wants to return the gift you spent time picking out for him, even if the turkey was too dry or you burned the green beans – there were moments throughout the day that were perfect! So live in the moment and recognize the things that went well. Our brains LOVE to focus on the negative. If you get 10 compliments on your cooking, that one negative comment is the one that will stick in your head. Let it go! And remember the good stuff. Write it down. Cherish it.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas!
For more: https://yourlifetransfigured.podbean.com/e/ep-9-happy-holidays-its-up-to-you/
