Goal setting was (and is) part of my coaching process. When I started, I could not think of a time in my life where I had consciously set a goal. Sure there were successes in my life, but I’m not sure I recognized them – I was just moving through life. Study, do well in school, go to college – these stages of life were certainly celebrated, but also expected. I think I’ve always just tried to do the next right thing – and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that! But I wasn’t taking risks, I wasn’t challenging myself, and somewhere along the way I stopped dreaming. I can’t say when that happened exactly, but I think a lot of us moms are living our lives in support of our kids and their dreams. And when they grow up, there is a lack of purpose and a sense of loss.
When I was asked about my dreams, I didn’t even know where to begin! I definitely didn’t know what I wanted – things I love tend to revolve around other people. And when I considered that, I knew I had relationships that needed work. If I rely on others for my happiness, I give them way too much power over my life!
So, how did I find purpose in the next phase of my life and how do I get back to dreaming? The first step was to do an honest evaluation of what I felt about all areas of my life – physical, mental, spiritual. I needed a coach to walk me through this – and I found obvious areas of lack. The next step involved setting some short-term goals to address at least one of those areas. Then I came up with an action plan to meet those goals. Each month and quarter, I re-evaluate myself – have I hit my goals and have I made improvement? And equally as important: Am I celebrating these small wins?
As I started focusing on specific areas of my life, I started feeling more confident and I realized that I’ve been living my purpose – just not to the best of my ability! God wants me to be my highest self – He’s given me everything I need, but I wasn’t paying attention. And the ability to dream does come back. I found joy in dreaming big dreams – and I may never achieve them. Setting the goal isn’t the point. Finding purpose is the point. Dreaming is important to direct my focus and to provide hope.
