This is such a common complaint especially for people who are going through some kind of transition in life – one that is perfectly normal, but leaves us feeling “not normal.” Maybe your job is changing or your young kids are all in school or your teens are leaving for college or you’re downsizing the big house. These are all perfectly normal things, but they are all very big changes and we frequently stuff our emotions around them or shame ourselves for any negativity.
The truth is we need to grieve – these changes mean the death or what we knew. And even when we are looking forward to the empty nest or the new home, we need to recognize the loss of what was.
When my oldest decided to move to Hawaii several years ago, I didn’t handle it well. I thought I was Ok with it. It wasn’t like he still lived with me and I honestly didn’t think he was leaving and never returning! But as the departure date got closer, I started feeling more anxious about it. How far away he was going to be, how different his life would be, opportunities and friends he was leaving behind, and just this overall feeling I had of being stuck. I wasn’t seeing anything positive about this change. The fact that I hadn’t processed any of these thoughts and admitted to myself how I was honestly feeling resulted in a really negative back and forth with my son. This was followed by a tearful call to my AlAnon sponsor who had to talk me through all these feelings. My fear of the disconnection this change would cause lead me right into creating a disconnection. I was stuck.
There is something very powerful about an impartial 3rd party helping me voice my thoughts and feelings. Someone who isn’t going to “jump in the pool” and agree with me and reinforce those feelings, but who knows how to walk through the realities of life and helps me realize my distortions of that reality. I can’t change the circumstances of my life (especially when they are really someone else’s circumstances!) but I can change the way I see them and think about them. Life coaching has guided me through some hard times – many of which were self-created. And I now have the tools to move through the rest of the stuff life is going to bring me!
Are you feeling stuck? Contact me today for a free consult – I’d love to help set you free!
