Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Simply put, Step 5 is verbalizing everything you learned in Step 4. It can be the scariest of the steps – telling someone else all that stuff we’ve kept stuffed and hidden for years! We can barely admit it to ourselves!
But Step 5 is honestly the most powerful and brings about the change you have been looking for. There are a few things that can make it easier for you.
Admitting to Ourselves
Hopefully this is the easiest part of the step. The work we do in Step 4 means we have fearlessly delved into past experiences, resentments, and struggles. Now we look at them honestly and find patterns of behavior that we don’t like about ourselves! Owning up to our part in difficult relationships, realizing our reactions are not always helpful, admitting mistakes we’d like to forget. There may be things that we miss – and that’s what the rest of the step is about.
Admitting to God
If you are still struggling with who God is in your life, this part will seem like a struggle – or disingenuous. But believing in a higher power who wants the best for you makes this journey easier! He has created you, loves you and absolutely will forgive you. Bringing our failings into the light is the only way to heal. Know that He loves you and is cheering you on.
Admitting to Another Human Being
Well, this is the nerve-wracking part! Who should the other human being be? In Al-Anon, we have sponsors. Some people have spiritual advisers and others have therapists. And then there are coaches! Each of these people is able to sit and listen and guide. You may get some direction and some help in realizing both positive and negative personality traits.
While your human being is up to you, I do think it is important to choose someone who doesn’t already have preconceived notions or some desire to steer the direction of the conversation. You need to have the freedom to speak your mind without fear of judgement. You shouldn’t feel like you have to please the other person – this is all about you! Talking to your best friend or your spouse is probably not the best idea! That can come later.
Relief and Power
The result? A great sense of relief as well a new feeling of power. The relief is of letting go of pain, guilt, confusion. Recognizing and speaking about these issues just releases them! There is something very powerful about giving voice to things you have kept hidden or denied to yourself for so long. Your newfound power allows you to take advantage of the freedom that comes to you. And now you can make the change. You have the ability to transfigure. You have always been uniquely you – you’ve just been hidden by all that stuff.
