Came to believe that a Power greater than myself could restore me to sanity.
Two things people struggle with here (and we’re only on step 2!): “I don’t know about this God stuff,” and “I’m not the crazy one!”
Higher Power
God isn’t really mentioned here – just a greater power. This step is REALLY about humility, understanding that I don’t have control, and recognizing SOMETHING greater than myself. In short, admitting that I am not the center of the Universe!! For those that struggle with the concept of God, there are plenty of substitutes. Sometimes they use nature, a support group, or their community as this higher power.
When I first started working the steps years ago, I didn’t have trouble believing in God – He’s always been there. What I had trouble believing was the idea that I might matter to Him. That He actually cared about the real me – my soul – and that He was always there trying to bring me closer to Him. This realization that He does love me and that every soul (including mine) matters to Him, did not happen like a bolt of lightning. It started small: working on recognition and gratitude for everything in my life. It grew with more open mindedness towards others and to seeing His works and outright messages. I could look back and find other examples of times when I should have seen His work. My relationship with God started changing and maturing. The idea of letting go of control became more appealing when I could recognize I never had control and someone/something else has a much better plan.
Who Me? Insane?
“I’m not the one with the problem – HE is!” Sound familiar? Somehow I knew I needed help, but didn’t yet recognize the insanity. Recognizing my insanity started with Step One. My drive to fix and control created an unbalanced life and I had to recognize my part in that. Every relationship I have is a two-way street and I can only control my side of that street. The thoughts I had about anyone else in my life fueled my feelings about our relationship. If I’m judging someone’s decisions, I will have a difficult time finding joy with them. The actions resulting from these thoughts were sometimes insane – creating more bad feelings and actions!
The miracle here is that the more my relationship with God evolved, the easier it was to love everyone else unconditionally and to let go of the idea that I had to fix them or their “problems.” There is nothing to be fixed when you know that we are each a child of God, loved unconditionally by Him.
For more, check out this podcast episode: https://yourlifetransfigured.podbean.com/e/ep-5-step-two-higher-powers-help/
Wonderful insight! We all need more sanity. Looking forward to more.