How many times have you berated yourself for not sticking to a resolution or not being able to make the lifestyle change you know you need to make? Saying “I just don’t have the willpower…” That’s an easy excuse, even if it’s negative, for falling back into old habits. I just chalk it up to a defect I’ve been dealt.
There are all kinds of reasons for perceived failure and often there is no absolute when it comes to self-reflection and the work that goes along with it. Often there are small victories even when I haven’t hit that goal I was reaching for. It’s just easy for me to overlook those and just look at the final results.
So, do I just lack willpower? Perhaps. But I honestly don’t think willpower really exists. The real answer is that WE ALL NEED HELP. It is possible to make changes stick, but it is much easier to make changes when you have help – whether that help is God, or a friend, or some form of an accountability partner, or a coach. And in most cases, we need a combination of support! Changing something that is a habit in my life is difficult – creating a new habit where one does not exist is difficult. Community – sharing a common goal – gives us a better chance than just working on our own.
Because our brain likes to keep learned behaviors and throws out negative thoughts when we try to make changes, it’s important to examine those thoughts – are they really true or am I telling myself a story that keeps me from growing? 12 step programs require self examination – therapy and coaching do as well. The guidance of an outsider can be SO helpful when you find yourself struggling.
For myself, dietary changes have been the hardest to do and the easiest to beat myself up about. I NEED that coach to show me the positive changes I’ve made b/c it’s not so easy for me to recognize them. And I need someone to point out that my failures aren’t nearly as bad as I think they are! When I get down on myself, it’s much easier to turn that attitude around when someone else provides positive feedback. And positive mindset is what I need to keep moving in the right direction.
If you have been contemplating or struggling with a change, a coach in your corner may be just what you need. If you’ve got the willingness, you have the power!
